A brush with bureaucracy
The System Wasn’t Designed For You
“Hospitals will now register newborns,” the papers proclaim.
“Here are the papers to present at the Registry,” the nurses counter:
It seems foreigners need to register kids themselves…
And of course they have to ask for an appointment first.
But las uck would have it, there’s a nice guy who
Has a break in his busy schedule so you don’t have to come back
(After all, you’re obviously not sub-Saharan…).
Then they ask if we can’t swap first and second names –
Sure what odds? It’s all the same, Enda Julen or Julen Enda…
After all our nine months of decision making,
Well, our apologies, then, but
Even though Enda is a famous name – a first minister of Ireland, indeed –
It’s not allowed.
If you were both Irish, or any other nationality, it’d be grand;
You could do whatever the hell you like –
Name the child “monkey shite” –
But since his mother is Spanish,
We are obliged to protect the progeny,
And any name that might make one wonder
About the gender is verboten –
That’s ending in on A for a girl, O for a boy,
So you’ll have to go and argue with the judge
Once we deny your register request;
Which we don’t want to, but the law requires –
After he gets back from his long weekend, of course…
Enda signifies anything in Euskera –
Which a quick search shows it does, so
All aboard and full steam ahead –
Since we’re in a Vascoparlante zone of Spain.
Even if it meant “monkey manure” that’s okay:
Just be glad we’re not in Madrid, or
You’d be back here Monday morning.